This is the post that I most likely shouldn’t be writing right now (see list of beverages consumed above), but for the sake of keeping it real, I am doing it anyway. My date left a day earlier than planned, all my friends are busy, and I really need to process the last weekend.
Sooo. After I turned my back on the disaster otherwise known as online dating, I met someone. Offline. Through a friend. IRL!
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Good Lord. I am really not carved out for online dating. Scrolling through Hinge makes me physically sick on a bad day and has me laughing out loud on a good one. How hard can it be to answer a simple prompt in a grammatically and logically correct manner?! Here are some gems to lighten up a grey November day:
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There are clearly pros of going down the alternative road when separating, however, it’s not for the faint hearted or the emotionally avoidant. Conscious uncoupling will, if you stick to it, leave large parts of family life and the previous relationship intact. But it will also mean that you will have to face old issues (and resolve them!), if you want a new, healthier relationship to emerge.
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That’s it. I am taking a dating break.
What’s happened? Nothing. Nothing noteworthy, earth shattering, or ground breaking.
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Remember the awkward one, the one where one guy I was talking to – unknowingly – warned me about the guy I was supposed to meet the next day? Well, I did it again!
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After a few weeks of self-imposed dating detox following another failure to launch (yes, there is a story waiting to be told), I decided to dip my toes into the murky waters of online dating. Again.
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It took me a couple of weeks to get over the shock of my very first failed online dating attempt, but onwards and upwards we go. For now, we are out of lockdown, I am fully vaccinated, and I am a little horny lonely here in La La Land. And I am way too curious to let this whole dating thing go just because of a tiny setback.
The big news is that the Father of My Children moved out three weeks ago, which doesn’t make for a lot of funny blog fodder. Instead, I am bringing you this…
I went on an online dating app and it was as horrible as it sounds and WAY weirder than you’d ever imagine.
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Are you in for a joke? Here goes:
So, I had this plan…
I know, WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Planning is so 2019.
The plan was for me and my two children to leave the USA on November 1st to start a new life in Switzerland. With Covid cases spiralling out of control in California, schools closed since March and the feeling that I am building our lives on sand – we never quite know for sure how the visa situation turns out and if or when we will be kicked out of this country – going back to a place where I felt at home and somewhat secure seemed like a smart move.
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During the last two years, I have seen my life turned inside out and upside down. I have adapted to situations that were previously nonexistent in my realm of possibilities. From natural catastrophes such as wildfires, earthquakes and house-eroding mudslides, to being faced with a real-life psychopath, almost losing a business and a substantial amount of money thanks to said psychopath, going through conscious uncoupling, attempting an open relationship and being hit by a pandemic, I really feel I have seen it all. (Yah, I know, I haven’t seen a civil war, but living in the U.S., I might just add ‘yet.’)
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