Adventures in online dating VI

The good, the bad, and the abysmal

Good Lord. I am really not carved out for online dating. Scrolling through Hinge makes me physically sick on a bad day and has me laughing out loud on a good one. How hard can it be to answer a simple prompt in a grammatically and logically correct manner?! Here are some gems to lighten up a grey November day:

Which is more important to youMy family and friendsDude, you missed the point.
My simple pleasuresThe Beach. Football. Netflix. Traveling. Books. Good conversation. Intelligent conversation. Positive Energy. Working out. Cryptocurrency.In what world is cryptocurrency pleasure or simple?!
All I ask is that youBe yourself, love to laugh, love family and enjoy the simple things in life. (I’m 56, not 50)All I ask is that you set up a profile age that doesn’t make you show up in my feed.
I get along best with people whoAre open minded, optimistic, genuine, naturally talented, kind, compassionate, physically fit, playful, generous, affectionate, think outside the boxSetting the bar low.
I want someone whogoofy, witty, sarcastic,Smart and genuine Easy going down to earth AND Does not take life TOO seriously Enjoy the moment……..I want someone who loves punctuation as much as I do. AND random CAPS. I LOVE CAPS!!!!!!
What I order for the tableWater!Next!
I’ll fall for you ifIntellectual, healthy, down to earth, and peaceful.This is not a sentence, let alone an intellectual one.
Something that’s a non-negotiable for me isNo dramaAhahahaha. No pandemics, heartaches, or losses then?
My mantra isFlow, Frequency and Essence of Presence. DAILY Goals. Instinctive. Passionately Reasonable. Paver not follower. Earth’s religion: MUSIC. Listen moreSomething tells me you’d want me to listen to you rambling, to which I say: fuck no!
We’ll get along if youYou love sunsets and the beach.Thank you for being so specific.
All I ask is that youBe your authentic self. Not into heavy drinking, healthy mind and body.Yah, healthy mind and body aren’t my things either. The Oxford comma though…
My best friend and me*picture of him and his dog*Wow, you must have shit friends.
Work titleStalker at CatfishWhy doesn’t that peak my interest?
You should *not* go out with me ifYou’re a f*cking fan!Work title says actor, but I am pretty sure I’ve never seen that face before – I doubt anyone is a fan.
I’m overly competitive aboutEverythingRUN!
We’ll get along ifWe’ll get along if you are interesting eclectic and fun you love to travel and enjoy music and dancing and the outdoors. So basically everything but punctuation?
The way to win me overBe intelligent and chill:) Swipe left if you’re a BLM/Antifa supporter and hate law and order.There’s no ‘swipe left’ on Hinge, you effing moron!
If loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be rightDriving along side of the ocean.Driving along the ocean is never wrong, but you spoilt it for me.
Two truths and a lieI used to model with the Kardashians, had jury duty with one of The Doors, crashed a car into John DeLorean’s house.As long as you don’t name drop…

So in case you were wondering how my dating life was going – here’s your answer.


Conscious Uncoupling for Beginners

How it started – how it’s going

There are clearly pros of going down the alternative road when separating, however, it’s not for the faint hearted or the emotionally avoidant. Conscious uncoupling will, if you stick to it, leave large parts of family life and the previous relationship intact. But it will also mean that you will have to face old issues (and resolve them!), if you want a new, healthier relationship to emerge.

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Adventures in online dating, Vol. V

Dating Detox

That’s it. I am taking a dating break.

What’s happened? Nothing. Nothing noteworthy, earth shattering, or ground breaking.

Just yet another failed attempt at creating a connection with someone that – and I knew that from the onset – wasn’t quite right for me. Another failed attempt that made me feel nothing, left me feeling empty, exhausted, and drained.

17 years ago, when I finally left my cheating first husband, I plunged head first into a whirlwind romance that lasted three months. Three months of not thinking, not feeling, not processing. After that, I fell into a state of numbness that persisted for the better part of a year. A year without a single kiss or date. Without as much as catching the eye of a stranger.

I hadn’t planned to live the life of a nun as a 28 year old. I would like to think I am more self aware today than I had been all those years back. But apparently, and without giving it much thought, I had been better at allowing myself time to heal and breathe without questioning it.

I can’t say that I feel any more pressure to date now than all those years back. If anything, I am more relaxed about finding a partner. I have got my children, my family, my life. I am not looking for someone to build my life with. Maybe I am not even sure anymore what I want ina partner and if I even want a partner.

Maybe it is exactly this uncertainty that makes me want to withdraw from it all. Maybe I need to find out what I want first, before jumping into dating adventures, only to find out what I don’t want. At the cost of my time, emotional balance, and sanity.

Of course, I am not getting any younger. But so aren’t the people around me. We are all getting older, which is both disconcerting and reassuring.

There is another kind of uncertainty in my life that has me preoccupied, a bigger question that I feel I have to sort out before I can truly commit to dating anyone. The Visa issue has popped up again, putting my work permit here in the US in jeopardy. I cannot not work. Especially now that I am separated – I have never pictured myself living on alimony, sitting on my bum all day. The thought alone makes me feel queasy.

Sometimes I am so tired of all of this. Sometimes I just want to pack up and go home. If only I knew where home is.


A blessing in disguise?

Saved by the bell

Are you in for a joke? Here goes:

So, I had this plan…

I know, WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Planning is so 2019.

The plan was for me and my two children to leave the USA on November 1st to start a new life in Switzerland. With Covid cases spiralling out of control in California, schools closed since March and the feeling that I am building our lives on sand – we never quite know for sure how the visa situation turns out and if or when we will be kicked out of this country – going back to a place where I felt at home and somewhat secure seemed like a smart move.

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Where shall we begin?

Current Mood: Overwhelmed

During the last two years, I have seen my life turned inside out and upside down. I have adapted to situations that were previously nonexistent in my realm of possibilities. From natural catastrophes such as wildfires, earthquakes and house-eroding mudslides, to being faced with a real-life psychopath, almost losing a business and a substantial amount of money thanks to said psychopath, going through conscious uncoupling, attempting an open relationship and being hit by a pandemic, I really feel I have seen it all. (Yah, I know, I haven’t seen a civil war, but living in the U.S., I might just add ‘yet.’)

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Dear Diary

How to deal with uninvited readers

The father of my children thought it a good idea to share this so far secret blog with his friend (I know, WTF?!). You might wonder why he had the link in the first place. The answer is simple. Because this is how our communication works: it’s open.

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